If You Give a Boy Some Scissors...

If you give a boy some scissors, he might want some paper to cut. Or some curtains. Or his sister's hair. You can probably guess where this story is going.

Gabriel has some trouble with scissors. He has his own safety scissors, and he likes to cut things. Loves to cut paper and playdough...he can't get enough of it. However, his smallish scissors don't cut fabric - or the things that little boys don't need to be cutting. He has "stolen" my snippers before (they were "hiding" in his window sill so I could finish cutting plastic to put over the window) and used them to cut his curtains.

"Gave 'em a haircut," he said. When asked why, he gave his stock answer: "Cause I said so."

"You see, Gabe, curtains don't have hair. There's no need to cut your nice, blue curtains. And now, you get to have no curtains. No, I don't care if the sun comes in and bothers your eyes. DON'T CUT THE DAMNED CURTAINS EVER AGAIN!!!" Ok, ok...add a little more profanity in there, and you get the gist of what I told him.

Today, Jon was hanging a Thomas and Friends wall border around Gabriel's room. He obviously needed scissors. The kids went up to see what Daddy was doing, and everyone plainly heard him say, "No touches. No one touches the scissors, or I get out my spanking hands." I heard him downstairs, so I am guessing the kids heard him, too. He turned his back for a moment, and SNIP went the scissors. In Elliott's hair. I have no clue what Jon said to Gabe upstairs, but he came trotting down the steps and sat himself on the couch. His face was red and he looked so guilty. Seconds later Jon came down dragging Elliott by the arm. He handed me the curls that Gabe cut off. I thought that maybe he had pulled them out of her head. Jon very calmly told me what happened, and then he got out his spanking hands. I was L.I.V.I.D. Furious. I looked at Gabe, asked him why he cut his sister's hair (his reply?? see above), and then told him that if he didn't want me to get out the clippers and shave his head he needed to go to his room.

Poor Elliott. She was so upset. Jon was annoyed with her, too for thinking it was funny at the time. But she's 2. Everything is funny when you're 2. She kept saying she was "cutted" and that "Gabey messy up my hair". So I took her to get her first haircut. She was AMAZING. She loved it. I was waiting to get her hair cut until Fall - something special for right before school starts. Oh well. She looks absolutely adorable with her new short hair, though!

[Updated 2/24 - Jon told me an extra tid-bit of hilarity about this last night. Apparently after Jon turned his back, he heard the kids giggling and talking nonsense (they have their own language). The only word he could actually distinguish was "haircut". By the time he had himself off of a chair and in their faces (about 4.2 nanoseconds later), the damage had been done. It wasn't so funny yesterday, but now that I think about it, it's amusing. To a point.]