Post-It Note Tuesday!!

Monday Meme...Lap Sitting!!!

I've been slacking in my Memes lately...and I apologize. So...in an honest effort to stay on track (and because I know you all have missed me so much) - here's my Monday Meme!!

Supah Woman herself would like to know whose lap (aside from Santa's) I would like to sit on. Obviously the first person that comes to mind if Jonny P. But...that's not very interesting. So...here's my list. In no particular order.

Hugh Laurie. 'Cause no matter what he's in...he always looks good. Even when he looks like absolute shit.

Robert Pattinson. But only when he's portraying Edward Cullen. When he's not all pasty and clean-shaven, he's just not as tasty.

Gwen Stefani. Not sure if it's just because she's the sexiest woman I have ever laid eyes on, or if it's because she's married to Gavin Rossdale.

Josh Halloway. Holy. Hotness. I want to be lost on a deserted island with Sawyer. F Jack.

John Krasinski. Words fail me...

So. There you have it. 5 laps I would rather sit on than Santa's. Me also likey Hugh Grant, Mark Harmon, Matthew Macfadyen, Colin Firth, Mark Addy, Kate Walsh, and Hayden Christensen.

Conglomeration

Things have been crazy around here for the past few weeks, and I just haven't had the time - nay, the interest to post. My intentions have been good...but when I sit down...the mood leaves. So here's a random conglomeration of thoughts and stuff...

* I went to the movies for the first time in, oh...7 years. I'm pretty sure the last thing I saw in a theater was "The Scorpion King". When I was a teenager, I loved going to the movies. Now? I just don't care. I would rather sit in the comfort of my own home to watch something that will potentially not be all that exciting. But I wanted to see "Julie and Julia" - and since my ticket was only 75 cents, it was well worth it!!

* Thanksgiving was fan-f***ing-tastic!! Seriously one of the best holiday weekends of my adult life. I got to spend time with all of my family and Jon's. It was wonderful. The kids got to play with all of their cousins, and I got to go shopping alone with my Mom. (My MIL kept my kiddos overnight while Jon was at his family's hunting cabin with his brothers.) It was just an absolutely awesome weekend!!

* I've been reading like a crazy woman since we've been home. In the last six days, I've read five books. The reading frenzy began with the third volume of Dean Koontz's Frankenstein series. It ended with the four Twilight books. 99.99% of my friends had read the books and I was tired of being harassed...so I caved, and borrowed the books from my SIL. And holy poop!! They were freakin' awesome!! I read all four books in four days...and I want to read them again!

The only problem I have with actually having read the books (aside from the fact that there aren't any more in the series) are the thoughtless little jabs at my overwhelming glee. Since I get little to no free time to myself, I use books as my escape. Every time I pick up a book, it's like a wee little vacation - just for me. No kids, no hubby, no laundry, no dishes. The books I like to read (that aren't classics) are thrilling...graphic...attention-catching. Quick reads that I can totally lose myself in. I love Patterson, Koontz, Childs, Preston and Child, Rice...my list can go on. And after writing those names, I realize that I like to be scared when I read (which is weird since I loathe horror movies). I like books that take me out of my safe little world. The point I'm trying to make here is that my choosing to read a sudden pop culture phenomenon doesn't make me a moron.

* Ok...so it's December. How in the hell did that happen??

* My husband just asked me if I was blogging about his balls. I told him no. But I guess I lied...'cause here I am. Blogging about his balls.

* For the first time in 19 months, Janna has an ear infection. Her tubes are doing their job - the goo is leaking out of her head instead of settling in behind her eardrum. And it's disgusting. She'd been talking about her ears bothering her for a week or so, but she wasn't clear on whether or not it was her ear...or her earring. And since she didn't have a fever, I didn't think anything of it. On Wednesday, I noticed some rusty-greenish colored goo leaking out of her ear. I thought it was just ear wax (the Girl is the Ear Wax Queen), but I called anyway because she also had a nasty cough. Dr. Y. took one look at the ear and said, "Nope. That's an infection." By the time we left the office, the other ear was leaking, too. Good times!!

This afternoon as I was wiping her little ears clean, I realized that this wasn't the first time I had seen goop drizzling out of her ears. It's happened twice in the last few months. But because she wasn't complaining and she has a ton of sticky ear wax, I didn't think anything of it. So...if this infection doesn't clear up in the next couple days, I will be calling the ENT to make absolutely certain that her tubes are in place - and that they look like they will be in place for the rest of cold/flu season.

* I had my parent-teacher conference with Gabe's Kindergarten teacher today. It went well!! Mrs. V. is fantastic. I couldn't imagine a more perfect fit for The Boy. She's completely aware of his strengths and his weaknesses...and she works with all of them. The first words out of her mouth when I walked into the classroom were about how much she enjoyed having Gabe in her class. And it wasn't just lip service. She truly enjoys him...and that means the world to him. And to me, too. Since he's way ahead of the curve for everything they're working on, she's going to send home some extra things for him to do. She also gave me some great ideas for activities Jon and I can do with him to keep him on his toes.

* Jon just asked if I was blogging about him farting on the cat. Ummm, sure. I told him I hoped the cat scratched his previously mentioned balls.

* I'm trying to get in the holiday mood, but the weather isn't helping. I know I shouldn't complain about the fact that it's been 50+ degrees up here. But shopping for a Christmas tree without a coat on in Upstate NY is kind of depressing. But we managed, and Janna picked out her "perfectly wiggly Kiss-miss tree" this morning!! Well...that's what she calls it. I 'll post pics eventually. It looks gorgeous!!

That's about all I've got. Seacrest out.

1...2...3...

Yesterday was Elliott's 4th birthday!

Where has the time gone? It really doesn't seem possible that my Big Girl is already 4. But she is...and she's very happy about it!! She has been waiting to be 4 for...well...a year. She's already started talking about turning 5!!

We started the day with presents and special birthday breakfast. Then we played and had special birthday lunch. Naps, special birthday dinner, and cake finished off the day. The entire day revolved around food - all for a kid that doesn't eat!

And now...just because I can...a small re-cap of Smelly Jane's birthdays!!

Happy 1st Birthday, Elliott! Girlfriend LOVES herself some cake!

Second birthday at Gramma's house!! Cupcakes are yummy!!

The Birthday Princess at her third birthday party!

Happy 4th Birthday, Elliott Jane!

Siesta Key Barbie

When I was a child my family went on vacation at least once a year. The most frequented destinations were New Jersey and Florida. We all piled in the station wagon and drove to wherever we were headed. In order to maintain some sort of order in the car, my Mom packed presents for us. Every couple of hours we would each get a gift. They were small and silly things, but they were wrapped...and as we all know, presents tend to keep kids quiet. Well, at least for a little while.

One year (I think I was 6 or 7) we went to visit my Grandparents and some friends in Florida. My Mom wrapped paper dolls and other smallish gifties for me, but when we got to Siesta Key, FL I was rewarded with a bigger and better gift. My very own Siesta Key Barbie!! Obviously, there isn't any such thing as a real Siesta Key Barbie, but since I was little I paid no attention to the fact that my beloved SK was, in fact, a vintage Malibu Barbie with handmade clothes. The point is that my Mom took something special (Barbies...oh, I loved me some Barbies) and made it even more special by making it mine.

This year for Christmas, I'm doing something similar for the Girls. Both of them covet American Girl Dolls. They drool over the catalog, and they love looking at the website. But there is no way I am buying a 4 year-old or a two year-old a $100+ doll. Nope...not happening. So...I've created these:

Meet Sara (the blonde) and Jane (the brunette) - Our F... (the F... is for the name of the town we live in) Gals. Sara (the Target version of an AGD) is for Elliott. Jane (the Michaels version) is for Janna. The gals are named after my Aunt Sally (her real name was Sara Jane).

I am absolutely thrilled with these dolls!! They will be dressed in their Christmas jammies, slippers, and crocheted (by moi) Santa hats for Christmas morning. They also each have extra pants, turtlenecks, shoes, coats, hats, and scarves (HOORAY for Etsy and eBay!!). My plan is to take the dolls to some of the various places we visit (the Fish Hatchery, Library, school, etc.) and take pictures of them "interacting" with the environment. Each doll will then also have a special scrapbook/storybook that the Girls can add to and "read". Again...I am THRILLED!! I can't wait to see the Girls' faces on Christmas morning!

Tough Noogies

When I was younger, my Mom would tell us "tough noogies" when we wanted something that we weren't allowed to have. I told Elliott that this afternoon after listening to her whine about her need for candy corn. She giggled...then I giggled...then Janna giggled - and it made me smile to remember my Mom saying that to me. As Elliott's whining recommenced, I started thinking about my role as a Mommy. But not just any kind of Mommy - a No-Mommy. (Thanks for that "phrase", Erin!!)

I come from a long, proud line of SAHMs. I knew as a child that when I had my own kids I was going to stay home with them. Being a vet, teacher, lawyer, or whatever other random occupation I dreamed about at the time was secondary. I was going to be my Mom. That's all I really ever wanted. And for the most part, I'm there. My Mom was a No-Mom. And I've picked up where she left off.

While I absolutely adore my kids, I'm not here to be their buddy. I'm their parent (or at least 1/2 of the parental unit). I'm the one in charge. Let's face it...while Jon is also kind of in charge, as the parent who is home with the kids every day, all day - I'm really the one in charge. Jon's just kind of along for the ride. I make the rules, and I expect them to be followed. But what I don't expect is for my rules and my status as a No-Mommy to be judged, and then negated or scoffed at by my peers. I'm proud to be a No-Mommy. Tough noogies to the people who don't like it.

Being a parent and raising kids is a really hard job. But the job becomes even harder (for me) when the rules and expectations that I set forth are constantly questioned or demeaned by people who haven't got a clue what it's like to take 3 steps in my shoes. While I'm not asking anyone to agree with my rules, I am asking to be respected as a parent.

The following is a list of My Favorite Rules that are most questioned and disrespected:

Food is to be eaten in a timely fashion (and all food will be eaten while sitting at the table with your heiney in a chair). With the amount of food being served to my kids at each meal, there is absolutely no need for more than 25-30 minutes to pass before they finish. Obviously, there are times when this time frame can be adjusted (if the kid is making an honest effort at eating, then the plate can stay - but only until the rest of the plates have been cleared and the dishes are done), but for the most part a half hour is all they should need. If the food isn't gone at the end of the allotted time, it gets taken away. Tough noogies to the kid that hasn't eaten.

No snacks (cookies, candy, etc.). Like many parents, we are dealing with kids that don't eat. About 15 minutes after they leave the table they whine for food. Tough noogies. I'm of the opinion that if a kid is hungry, said kid will eat the meal that is served. When snacks are given, they are in the form of pretzels, popcorn, or raisins. And other than using candy corn as a potty-training reward (J gets 2 pieces), I don't use sweets as a reward. I love it when the kids behave and have great days at school, but I don't love it enough to give them junk.

If I threaten to take something (anything) away, I follow through. While it's really hard to be consistent, I try my hardest. If toys aren't picked up, if books are thrown...I will take them - they will become mine. Halloween was pretty dismal around these parts this year. G's behavior was so ridiculous, that I took Trick-or-Treating away. Some friends and family (my brothers especially) were appalled that I had the audacity to forbid the kids to t-or-t. Tough noogies. I threatened...and I followed through. And hopefully, the kiddos learned something. And hey, we all benefited from the lack of candy!

Lunches or outings with friends will be taken away for inappropriate behavior. This rule coincides with the above rule. We spent the summer playing/eating lunches with our friends. It was great. I ignored the ridiculous behavior that all of the kids were exhibiting, and we continued doing lunches after the start of the school year. A few weeks in I noticed a dramatic change in E's behavior after these lunches. Our afternoons were horrific because she was so wild, and she was warned that the fun times would be taken away if her behavior didn't turn around. Thus we haven't done lunches with friends since the middle of September. Tough noogies. As much as it stinks that I don't get any adult interaction most days, E has completely calmed down. She was so calm that I decided to set up a Thursday lunch date for her. And the moment I told her about it she went nuts. And so we ate alone today. Again...tough noogies.

Naps (and/or quiet time) will be had every day - from the hours of 1pm-4:30pm. I lucked out in the napping department - my kids have always been great nappers. The girls take 3 hour naps each day, and when G gets home from school he takes an hour nap, too. I schedule nothing for the afternoon because it's nap-time, and I get a lot of flak for that - though I'm not sure why. My kids need naps - and I need the break from them. Tough noogies if we can't make it to a party or a play-date - naps are more important. And tough noogies to the kids if they don't want to go to bed.

After reading through my most "controversial" rules, I realize that many people will think that I'm too harsh of a Mom. But again, I am happy with the fact that I am a No-Mommy - I say "No" a lot. That being said, I am also very much a Yes-Mommy. I say yes to kisses and cuddles. I say yes to extra bedtime stories. I say yes to playdoh and glitter. I say yes to air-popped popcorn. I say yes to Hamburger Helper (which is huge if you know me - that stuff is nasty!!). I say yes to tights, hair stuff, and perfume. I say yes to bubble baths. I say yes to blowing a bugle at 6am. I say yes to taking too many pictures of the "skull face". I say yes to random trips to Subway. I say yes to sleeping bags. I say yes to pink milk.

And if you ask me if I think I'm a good Mom? I'll say yes.

MEME Monday...

As per Supah's instructions, this week's Meme is about inspiration. Like what inspires one to...get all inspirational with a significant other. Wink, wink!!

I'm a SAHM to three kids. Which means that there is a kid attached to me at almost every waking moment of my day. I'm not ashamed to admit that the romance in my marriage is pretty much non-existent. As parents with no outside help, Jon and I don't get a weekly date night. Hell, we rarely get a yearly date night. Our "alone" time usually isn't all that "alone". We have kids...and such is life. Though I'm sure it will happen at some point, said kids have yet to interrupt our "connubial bliss"!!

I don't give Jon one tenth of the credit he deserves. Not as a father...and certainly not as a husband. Jon is amazing. AMAZING. He's also a very quiet guy. He doesn't use words needlessly - he chooses them carefully. When we were first dating, I wasn't sure I was all that into him. He really didn't "do it" for me. He changed that with 2 words - "Courtney pretty." That's all it took. And I melted. Well, then I saw him in a pair of cut-off camos bending over the hood of his car. And then I really melted...more than once, in fact. Seriously...have you seen the man's legs? Good lord. The man has gorgeous legs.

So while he is an absolutely wonderful man, and that in and of itself is inspiring, what really gets me all hot and bothered are his legs...all three of them...wink, wink!!

The Magic of Candy Corn

Recently I posted about my frustration with Janna's refusal to poop on the potty. And it was just that - a refusal. She knew she needed to poop and she knew where the poop needed to be.

In the last 7 days, Miss Janna has pooped on the potty 8 times!! The trick? Candy corn! Well, that and a healthy dose of pediatrician-prescribed Miralax (turns out that Janna has the same problem Elliott had when she was 2 - constipation is a bitch). Since her poop was too big and solid to come out easily on the potty, she would wait until she was all cozy in her bed for a nap, and let it work its way out. Which was all well and good. Except that it really wasn't good. She was so full of poop that she wasn't able to eat, and when she finally did poop she was in misery. Her poor bottom was a disaster. But the last week has been wonderful! No tummy troubles, no blistered (and bleeding) heiney...no nothing. Except a very happy Little Girl (and Mommy)!! If 2 pieces of candy corn (which is absolutely disgusting stuff in my book) are going to keep her wanting to poop on the potty - then she can have it - I'm not above bribing!!

Post-It Note Tuesday

I love these things...LOVE them.

All About MEme Monday

As a way of trying to maintain some sort of sanity, I am going to try to post more often. Maybe not every day, but on a more regular basis. And playing along with Supah's MEmes and stuff is a really easy way for me to vent. I don't really have to wrack my brain to find something to write about.

So...today's Meme is all about darkness. The idea is to write about what scares you...or the scariest thing that every happened to you...just something that brings out your dark side. So here goes...

♦ I am petrified of snakes. PETRIFIED. Just writing that is making me all nervous and tingly. When I see those horrible documentaries on tv, I immediately curl my feel underneath me and shake. And then I imagine that there are snakes under the couch waiting to bite me. Same with the toilet...if I sit on it, they will bite my ass. In the summer, I live in fear that one day I will open the kids' sandbox and there will be a snake lying in wait...all curled up in the sand. One day this summer I saw a tiny, wee little garter snake at Erin's house...and I almost shit myself. I screamed like the little girl that I am (so did Erin after I told her about it...heehee!!).

♦ While it's not scary...I get all kinds of witchy when my kids (or any kids) run through my house. It makes me crazy. There is no need to run and stomp through the house...none. And I punish that shit worse than I punish potty talk or food-throwing. So...if you come to play, tell your kids not to run. Or throw food. Or mess with my stuff. Or climb the walls. Or jump on my couch. Or mess with the cupboards. Or wipe their noses on my furniture.

♦ If you want to really see some snarly, nasty Momminess...please...back-talk. I dare you. Or if you don't want to use sass, then please talk like a baby. When you aren't a baby. Or if that doesn't float your boat, just don't answer. Stare off into space while I talk to you. Maybe add a few shrugs of your shoulders in for good measure. No really...I dare you to try it. If you get smacked, it's your own fault.

♦ Again...while it isn't really scary, I don't swim in "public water". It freaks me out. Lakes, ponds, rivers, public pools, creeks...no way. I don't even let ocean water get any higher than my knees. There's sharks in there!! And all kinds of other beasts. And pubic hair. Ewwwwwwww.

♦ I'm scared to death of death. I don't even want to think about it.

♦ Scary movies freeeeeeeeeak me out. I cover my eyes and scream...again...like the little girl that I am. So do haunted houses. Even the really cheesy ones.

♦ Blood scares me. The sight...the color...the smell...it makes me all flushed and short of breath. When Gabriel fell down the steps a few years ago and had blood pouring from his little head, I almost passed out. And then I started wigging out.

♦ Maggots. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

♦ Hypocrisy. Makes me friggin' insane. It brings out my dark side more than snakes covered with maggots, bloody kids that are running and back-talking at the same time while watching a scary movie and swimming in a creek. Ok, so maybe not as dark as the other things on this list, but it's still worthy of this post.

Life

My Aunt Sally bravely fought cancer for a long time - she lost that battle on Monday evening at age 62. My Dad called to break the news (news that we all knew was coming), and needless to say, I'm upset. No. I'm sad. My Dad sent out an e-mail this morning to all of his family and friends, and I think that upset me more than his initial phone call. For the first time ever, I actually thought of Sally as someone other than an Aunt that I only got to see once every three years. She was his sister. And he's got to be devastated. His brothers must be as well.

I tend to be a fairly negative person. I view the world through glass-half-empty eyes, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. Life very often sucks. Sure there are good parts...they go hand-in-hand with the bad parts. Sally's death has made me think about life. My life.

I am a stay-at-home-mom to three gorgeous, albeit unruly, children. And I absolutely adore them. I have never (and will never) taken them for granted - they are my life. Though my days are long and tough, and I have no reprieve from my daily stresses (namely children in this matter), I honestly wouldn't change much about my life. I am a strong (though very rightly agitated) woman, and I can handle whatever life throws at me.

Sally never had children of her own. For whatever reason, she didn't want them. She married a man with two daughters, and that was enough for her. She loved spending time with her nieces and nephews when she got the chance, and every time we were together she told me how wonderful of a job I was doing - that it was so great to see me take charge of such a hard, thankless job. I appreciate her words now more than ever.

Sally and Gabe playing at the cottage.

Sally and my Uncle Bill tickling Janna. (Unfortunately, I can't find any pictures of Sally with Elliott.)

** As some of you are aware, Janna has a Build-a-Bear dog she lovingly named "Baboo". Baboo is her "bess fwenn". Until today, we had no idea why Janna chose the name Baboo.

While we were in the car this morning, we were talking about Snoopy and the Great Pumpkin. We love Snoopy around here!! After a while Janna started whispering soft nothings to her stuffed cat (after leaving Baboo at the ped's office and having to turn all the way around to go back and get her...Baboo has to stay home now.). She was telling the cat about her "Sweet Baboo". For those of you who are Peanuts fans, you will remember that "Sweet Baboo" is what Sally calls Linus. It's also what I used to call Janna when she was tiny. Mystery solved!!

Things That Piss Me Off...

I'm very easily annoyed. We all know that. I'm not at all patient, and I have a hairpin trigger temper. Most everything pisses me off!! But lately, I find myself even more annoyed than usual. So, since I can...here's the list of my latest peeves.

Cars. Jon's POS car died a few months ago, so we bought him a beater to get through the next few months til we can afford to buy something better. Yeah. This "new" car? It's an even bigger POS. Keen. We've spent more money on it than I care to divulge, and yesterday? It broke again. I'm about ready to drive it off a friggin' cliff. Only I won't. Because it's worth nothing.

Condescension. I hate it almost as much as I hate patronization. Oh, and judgment. I use my blog, website, and Facebook page as ways to communicate what I'm going through at that precise moment. Of course I'm asking for judgment and stupid comments about my updates, but please...for the love of whatever...do NOT be condescending. For the most part, the people who comment on my updates (mainly on Facebook) have no idea who I am. Our kids might go to school together, at one time we might have gone to school together...but you don't really know me. Or at least you don't know me anymore. So keep your condescending trap shut. Don't accuse me of being ungrateful, ignorant, or of being a whack-job. I like to hear your thoughts and opinions, but don't give me shit because you don't happen to like mine.

The weather. Ok, Mother Nature. Make up your friggin' mind already. One day it's cold, the next, warm. My poor sinuses can't take much more. Neither can Janna's.

And speaking of Janna...Janna. Miss Thang refuses to poop on the potty. REFUSES. And girlfriend needs to get over that. She can tell you in the most explicit and grammatically proper way that she needs to poop. And that said poop belongs in the potty. And after sitting on the potty for 45 minutes? Janna will then promptly poop in her diaper. Which has been strapped to her butt for less than 5 minutes. She will then tell me (again with full sentences) that she would like to be changed, please. And that she's sorry for pooping in her pants. And that next time she will go on the potty.

Now before you get all judgy-judgerton on me, I realize that she's 2. And that not all 2 year-olds are ready to poop on the potty. But I'm of the opinion that if a kid can express in complete sentences that she actually knows what poop is, that she needs to do it, that it should be done in the potty, that her dirty diaper needs to be changed, and that she's sorry she did it in the pants...then she's ready to poop on the potty.

My list can go on and on...but I just realized that I have to get my ass in gear. It's field trip time...and I'm sure that will be added to said list on a later date...

Stickies

Again, Debby's posted some funny shit. And since these post-it notes are too cute, I'll add my own.

Monday Meme: I've Never...

Yeah, I know. It's been a while. Things around here have been insane, and there is no end in sight to said insanity. Such is life.

While I haven't been posting anything for myself, I have been reading (and sometimes commenting) on my buddies' blogs. Debby's blog is always good for a laugh - or at least some thoughtful introspection. So just because I feel like it...I'm playing along with her latest Monday Meme.

So...

I've never...shoplifted. Never really had the urge. I've been with people who have pilfered from various stores (which I suppose make me an accomplice), but I've never actually helped out.

I've never...been thin. Nor will I ever be. And I'm ok with that.

I've never...done drugs. And honestly, I wouldn't know drugs if I tripped over them. (Unless you consider alcohol and caffeine drugs. In that case...I'm all about drug use.)

I've never...believed that I'm better than anyone. Smarter? Yes. Cuter? You bet.

I've never...gotten a tattoo. As much as I say I want one, I really don't. I have yet to see one on anybody that I actually like, or think looks cool.

Want more? Too bad.

I've never...been a fan of sports, vampires, snobs, reality tv shows, organized (or unorganized) religion, wishy-washy-ness, high heels, ironing, cell phones, gardening, exercise, scrapbooking, cleaning, baking, self-righteousness, Starbucks...the list can go on. I'm not a big fan of much.

I've never...shoved my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) down anyone's throat.

I've never...pretended to be something I'm not.

I've never...been patient. And more than likely, I never will be.

I've never...been afraid to voice my opinion.

I've never...broken a bone.

Do any of the above things make me stand out from a crowd? No, not really. None of them are at all original. The things that make me stand out from a crowd aren't things I've never done or things that I've never been...they're things that I am - or things that I have. I'm loud. I have big, blond curly hair. I have three gorgeous, albeit unruly, kids. I'm fun. And you can bet that I stand out in a crowd!

#1 Topic of Conversation Around Here

Kids are awesome. There's no two ways about it...they're just awesome. And of course I mean that seriously...and totally sarcastically. This summer has been one of the most annoying, frustrating, and ultimately hilarious summers of my life. Every day the kids teach me something new...whether it's a new phrase, a new way to piss me off, a new way to love them more...just something new.

One of the more annoying and funny parts of the summer have been the conversations with my Hosers. This summer's topic of choice? Poop. Now I know that everyone talks about poop. Don't lie - you know you do. Every time you're with your friends, the conversation ultimately gets to that topic. The colors, sounds, smells, amount...it never gets old. No matter how much you try to deny it, poop and farts are always funny. And definitely discussion worthy.

That being said...my kids seem to like talking about poop more than typical kids. Sure it's annoying. And rude. And completely unnecessary. And yes...they get yelled at for it. I've also started making them stand in the bathroom and talk to the toilet when they just can't seem to stop spouting off at the mouth. But no matter what I do, they love talking about poop. Part of the reason that potty-talk is so prevalent around here as of late is because I'm in the middle of potty-training Janna - which, BTW, is going really well!

Each kid has a specific word or phrase for their droppings, too. Right now, Elliott is all about poo squids. Poo squids are what Elliott calls the specialness left in her undies after she poops (and wipes herself). Please be aware that these are not to be confused with "poo skins" - which is what Gabriel leaves behind. No matter how much TP they use, there is always a present left in their pants for me (or rather - for Jon since he does the laundry around here). And it bothers the bejesus out of them! They hate it! So Gabriel has gotten into the habit of wiping with baby wipes...which he then flushes (which of course clogs the damned toilet). And Elliott has taken to coming into the living room (or wherever I happen to be at the time) with no pants on...and bending over to ask, "Please, Mommy. Will you check my bottom? I don't think Barbie wants a poo squid today." Because as we all know, the Barbies on the undies will be very upset if they're visited by a poo squid.

Even Janna has become conscious of her poo. She doesn't know what a squid/skin is, but she's not one to be outdone. Her special word is "bolus". That's what she calls her poopies (well, that's what she calls them when she isn't calling them poopies). Boluses (Jon started calling her poops that when she was a baby - she's always had a little trouble in the #2 department, and as a result her offerings look like brown tangerines - or boluses of food). She tends to poop during her afternoon nap, and her oh-so-pleasant way of letting me know she's awake is to yell, "Mommy? Janna Ella have bolus. Fwesh panties. Pweeze." And when I don't come running, "Mommy? Way ay you? Janna Ella needs fwesh panties. Now. Yucky bolus. Stinky." And if I have the audacity to continue ignoring her, "Mom!?! Janna Ella needs fwesh panties now! Heiney cheeks hurt! Ma? Fine! Do it I self." And that usually sends me running.

So. Poop. Kids. Awesome.

66

52 weeks ago today I started my journey to become a healthier me. The number above? Is how much weight I have lost in those 52 weeks. 66 pounds. 66!! Sixty freakin' six!! I'm pretty stoked about that!!

So...how did I do it? I've changed two major things about my life - food and exercise. First I tried to regulate the amount and types of food I was eating. I started using the Points system from Weight Watchers, and it really helped me feel motivated. I noticed results right away, and it has helped me to regulate my food intake (i.e. I measure almost everything I eat). I'm making healthier choices for myself - and for my family. All of us are healthier because I changed the way I cook and grocery shop.

When I get asked about what I eat, I tell them I eat what I want. And that's completely true. I just eat less of it - and I make sure it's reduced calorie and lower fat. I've gotten used to eating low fat (or fat free) cheeses, yogurts, sour cream, milk, coffee creamers...and so have Jon and the kids. Splenda and spray butter have become two of my very best friends, and I wouldn't be able to survive without all of the yummy (and fiber-filled) Fiber One snacks. 100 calorie snack packs are also one of my favorite things in the world, and I have rediscovered my deep and abiding (and very annoying and messy) love of air-popped popcorn.

As far as meals go, I eat toast for breakfast. I eat a sandwich or soup for lunch (I would be lost without Arnold sandwich thins and Progresso or Campbell's light soups). I make the same dinners I made before, but I don't use butter on anything. All veggies are steamed, meat is grilled, salad dressings are light, mashed potatoes are made with fat free chicken broth...I cut corners wherever I can. And the results have been wonderful. Not only are we eating healthier, but the meals have been tastier, too!!

Secondly...I exercise every day. And believe me. I hate it. I hate everything about it. Sure I feel better afterwards, but finding the motivation to actually do it is sometimes next to impossible. I have a pretty strict schedule that I try to stick to as much as possible. Sundays are my "free" days - I do something very light (like a short walk). Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are my Jillian Days. And dude...I hate that woman. But I manage through it (mostly by calling her nasty names, or envisioning her face at the end of my fists while I'm punching) . Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays are my Leslie Days. Now Leslie I like! She's annoying as hell, but not enough to make me want to hit her. I vary my walks...but most of the time I stick with a fast three-mile workout.

Those are my "tricks". I changed the way I eat, and I increased the amount of exercise I do. When I started, I didn't really have a goal in mind. I just wanted to be healthier. Well, that and I didn't want to have to shop in the plus-size section of stores anymore. And I'm there. I can chase my kids without being too winded, and I'm down 5-6 dress sizes. My goal for this year is to maintain what I've started (if I lose more, great; if not, also great).

It's Official!

Janna's 2!! Which means she's no longer a baby. She's officially a toddler now. A bonafide Big Girl. Or as she likes to call herself, "Janna Ellen Princess Monkey".

Miss Monkey is growing and growing. Well, kind of. My Girl is a big ball of sass wrapped up in a wee little package. But she's cute! And very smart. And fiercely independent. And extremely cuddly. She's just such a great Little Girl!

Since I love boring you guys with pictures of my kids, allow me to share the last 12 months with you. I already posted her first 12 months in pictures here, so I'll pick up with month 13.

Janna - 13 months. Calling Gramma has always been one of her favorite things to do!

14 months - Janna would happily stay in the tub for hours if you let her.

15 months - BOO!! It's almost time for Halloween!

16 months - The climbing has begun! Keeping Janna off of any and all furniture (box, step, whatever) has become nearly impossible!

17 months - Christmas Eve!

18 months - Mommy's boots are so much fun to wear!

19 months - Janna insists on feeding herself. And since that's easier (for me) than listening to her whine, I allow it.

20 months - I love "riding" bikes!

21 months - Janna has discovered the joys of crafting! Playdoh, crayons (she doesn't eat them anymore!!), markers, paint...she loves to make things!

22 months - Darth Janna! Everything Sissy has, Janna wants! She idolizes her siblings!

23 months - The pack and play has become a jungle gym. Janna likes to nap, but when she's done, she DONE.

24 months - Happy Birthday, Baby Janna! You might not technically be a "baby baby" anymore, but you'll always be our baby!