All About MEme Monday

As a way of trying to maintain some sort of sanity, I am going to try to post more often. Maybe not every day, but on a more regular basis. And playing along with Supah's MEmes and stuff is a really easy way for me to vent. I don't really have to wrack my brain to find something to write about.

So...today's Meme is all about darkness. The idea is to write about what scares you...or the scariest thing that every happened to you...just something that brings out your dark side. So here goes...

♦ I am petrified of snakes. PETRIFIED. Just writing that is making me all nervous and tingly. When I see those horrible documentaries on tv, I immediately curl my feel underneath me and shake. And then I imagine that there are snakes under the couch waiting to bite me. Same with the toilet...if I sit on it, they will bite my ass. In the summer, I live in fear that one day I will open the kids' sandbox and there will be a snake lying in wait...all curled up in the sand. One day this summer I saw a tiny, wee little garter snake at Erin's house...and I almost shit myself. I screamed like the little girl that I am (so did Erin after I told her about it...heehee!!).

♦ While it's not scary...I get all kinds of witchy when my kids (or any kids) run through my house. It makes me crazy. There is no need to run and stomp through the house...none. And I punish that shit worse than I punish potty talk or food-throwing. So...if you come to play, tell your kids not to run. Or throw food. Or mess with my stuff. Or climb the walls. Or jump on my couch. Or mess with the cupboards. Or wipe their noses on my furniture.

♦ If you want to really see some snarly, nasty Momminess...please...back-talk. I dare you. Or if you don't want to use sass, then please talk like a baby. When you aren't a baby. Or if that doesn't float your boat, just don't answer. Stare off into space while I talk to you. Maybe add a few shrugs of your shoulders in for good measure. No really...I dare you to try it. If you get smacked, it's your own fault.

♦ Again...while it isn't really scary, I don't swim in "public water". It freaks me out. Lakes, ponds, rivers, public pools, creeks...no way. I don't even let ocean water get any higher than my knees. There's sharks in there!! And all kinds of other beasts. And pubic hair. Ewwwwwwww.

♦ I'm scared to death of death. I don't even want to think about it.

♦ Scary movies freeeeeeeeeak me out. I cover my eyes and scream...again...like the little girl that I am. So do haunted houses. Even the really cheesy ones.

♦ Blood scares me. The sight...the color...the smell...it makes me all flushed and short of breath. When Gabriel fell down the steps a few years ago and had blood pouring from his little head, I almost passed out. And then I started wigging out.

♦ Maggots. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

♦ Hypocrisy. Makes me friggin' insane. It brings out my dark side more than snakes covered with maggots, bloody kids that are running and back-talking at the same time while watching a scary movie and swimming in a creek. Ok, so maybe not as dark as the other things on this list, but it's still worthy of this post.