#1 Topic of Conversation Around Here

Kids are awesome. There's no two ways about it...they're just awesome. And of course I mean that seriously...and totally sarcastically. This summer has been one of the most annoying, frustrating, and ultimately hilarious summers of my life. Every day the kids teach me something new...whether it's a new phrase, a new way to piss me off, a new way to love them more...just something new.

One of the more annoying and funny parts of the summer have been the conversations with my Hosers. This summer's topic of choice? Poop. Now I know that everyone talks about poop. Don't lie - you know you do. Every time you're with your friends, the conversation ultimately gets to that topic. The colors, sounds, smells, amount...it never gets old. No matter how much you try to deny it, poop and farts are always funny. And definitely discussion worthy.

That being said...my kids seem to like talking about poop more than typical kids. Sure it's annoying. And rude. And completely unnecessary. And yes...they get yelled at for it. I've also started making them stand in the bathroom and talk to the toilet when they just can't seem to stop spouting off at the mouth. But no matter what I do, they love talking about poop. Part of the reason that potty-talk is so prevalent around here as of late is because I'm in the middle of potty-training Janna - which, BTW, is going really well!

Each kid has a specific word or phrase for their droppings, too. Right now, Elliott is all about poo squids. Poo squids are what Elliott calls the specialness left in her undies after she poops (and wipes herself). Please be aware that these are not to be confused with "poo skins" - which is what Gabriel leaves behind. No matter how much TP they use, there is always a present left in their pants for me (or rather - for Jon since he does the laundry around here). And it bothers the bejesus out of them! They hate it! So Gabriel has gotten into the habit of wiping with baby wipes...which he then flushes (which of course clogs the damned toilet). And Elliott has taken to coming into the living room (or wherever I happen to be at the time) with no pants on...and bending over to ask, "Please, Mommy. Will you check my bottom? I don't think Barbie wants a poo squid today." Because as we all know, the Barbies on the undies will be very upset if they're visited by a poo squid.

Even Janna has become conscious of her poo. She doesn't know what a squid/skin is, but she's not one to be outdone. Her special word is "bolus". That's what she calls her poopies (well, that's what she calls them when she isn't calling them poopies). Boluses (Jon started calling her poops that when she was a baby - she's always had a little trouble in the #2 department, and as a result her offerings look like brown tangerines - or boluses of food). She tends to poop during her afternoon nap, and her oh-so-pleasant way of letting me know she's awake is to yell, "Mommy? Janna Ella have bolus. Fwesh panties. Pweeze." And when I don't come running, "Mommy? Way ay you? Janna Ella needs fwesh panties. Now. Yucky bolus. Stinky." And if I have the audacity to continue ignoring her, "Mom!?! Janna Ella needs fwesh panties now! Heiney cheeks hurt! Ma? Fine! Do it I self." And that usually sends me running.

So. Poop. Kids. Awesome.