I hate ferrets...

I hate ferrets in the springtime.
I hate ferrets in the fall.
I hate ferrets in the winter when it drizzles.
I hate ferrets in the summer when it sizzles.

I hate ferrets...oh why, oh why do I hate ferrets?!

Because they sneak into my house and crap all over the place!!!

We went to Florida for Spring Break. And when I came home after 11 days, I was greeted by a pissed off cat - who had ripped out a bunch of her fur and puked all over...and a fucking ferret. Yeah. You read that correctly - a FUCKING FERRET.

The neighbor bought his kid (who doesn't live there during the week) a ferret. Because apparently nothing says "love" like a smelly weasel. And said kid let said weasel out of his cage on Saturday (April 23)...and we found it on Tuesday (April 26).

Or rather, Gabriel found it. And freaked right the hell out! Jon was unloading the car, I was cleaning up Kuzco's puke, and Gabriel was putting some of his Florida loot away in his room when he starts panicking.

My kid, who is all legs and arms, comes flying down the stairs - as white as a ghost. "Oh my G-d, Mom! There is an animal in my room that isn't ours. It's just not ours. It looks like a huge possum!" And of course I didn't believe him - until he started to freak out some more. Just then Jon came in the house, and the giant possum walked down the steps. And scared the crap out of Jon.

We eventually caught the smelly little effer, and his owner came to get him. We were left with a giant mess. Poo all over the house, little niches full of stolen toys and garbage, more poo, birdseed/catfood all over the place...oh, and more poo. We were up til after 11 on Tuesday night cleaning up ferret crap. We thought we had gotten all of it. Nope. We were up til after 11 again last night cleaning up more ferret crap. And this afternoon? I found more ferret crap. IN MY COUCH.

I don't condone violence against animals. Ever. I don't really even like hunting. But if I EVER see that mother effer again...Momma's gonna whoop some ferret ass.